Barely Melissa

May

New Thoughts and New Pride: The Cell Phone Question Continues

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Earlier this week I blogged about cell phones here and in other places. Why? Because my campground is thinking about developing a new cell phone policy. I must confess that my initial reaction to hearing discussion about this was frustration and annoyance because the policies are typically created because of people demonizing the cell phone.

In these past few days in which discussions about cell phones at nudist locations has been very prevalent throughout the nudist world, I am now very, very proud of my campground for thinking about a cell phone policy. Why, you ask? Because we are one of the first clubs to really THINK about and discuss the policy. I’m all for thinking! Yay to my camp!!!!!

The discussions this past few days has caused me to think, too. I’ll share below some of the new thoughts that have become evident to me:

1) This isn’t completely an “age issue” as I originally thought. I’m learning that many older adults love their cell phones just as much as I do! Yay older folks!!!

2) It seems that the cell phone and other technology is being blamed for people’s poor behavior. A cell phone doesn’t take pictures by itself so, instead of considering a policy for cell phones (and Nooks and Kindles and all sorts of other things…) maybe it would be wiser to talk about the picture-taking policy and the consequences of not following it. I hadn’t really thought about this, but it truly does make sense.

3) There seems to be a different standard for club attendees and service people at the clubs. When the gas guy or the cable guy comes on to the camp’s grounds, people don’t think twice about him or her having a cell phone. But if a member or day visitor has a cell phone, somehow this is a problem. Why are members and day visitors more suspect than service providers? This is curious to me.

4) One friend pointed out that we can ban all cell phones and electronic books and iPads and the list goes on, but, really, if you’re a true bad guy who wants pictures of naked people, all you have to do is drive down to Walmart and buy a pen with a camera and videocamera built in to it. Pens aren’t banned, right? This brings us back to #2.

5) In thinking about the population at a nudist camp, it’s almost funny that people are so worried about photos in the first place. Most nudist camps have a high ratio of older people (seniors and such) and they also have the same high percentage of people who are overweight and such. Yes, we’re accepting of every body, but, well, are nude photos of grandma and grandpa or those with imperfect bodies (we have no airbrushes here at camp! Lol) really in that high of a demand? I don’t say this to be rude, it’s just a thought to consider.

So, no solution has yet been found. But that’s ok because people are talking about the topic, thinking about it, and analyzing it. That, my friends, is the beginning of common sense prevailing on this issue. And isn’t common sense the best answer, anyway?

May

Nomophobia in Nudism: Hand Over the Cell Phone because I’m Feeling NAKED!

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Being naked is gloriously wonderful. Being naked of my cell phone? Nightmare! Yet prohibiting cell phones is becoming common practice at nudist camps and results. This may make complete sense to an older person who wants to prevent their image from being uploaded to any of the crazy websites that are so easy to find, but to a young person, such a policy is reason to not even consider going to a nudist locale. The topic of cell phones and other electronic devices is a hot one in the nudist community right now and it’s time for us to take a stand and offer a solution that will make sense to everyone. This is an area within nudism that just can’t wait as we see so few young people within nudism in general (outside of YNA) and creating policies against electronic devices will only discourage young people from visiting nudist locations even more!

Let’s start with a fun review of the facts, shall we? According to statistics, spending on cell phones is now higher than spending on landlines in the USA. Roughly 85% of all adults own a cell phone. Among the young adults, 94% of those ages 18-34, 92% of those ages 35-46; by contrast, 48% of those over the age of 75 own a cell phone. As those of us who use a cell phone frequently know, the cell phone is not just a phone and the talking feature really is one of the less-used features. Instead, the cell phone is used for texting, internet use, checking email, playing games, taking pictures, listening to music, reading books, calculating numbers, making lists, checking the stats on sports, and so much more.

Statistics on the age those who go to nudist campgrounds or are members of nudist campgrounds are available, but my own informal study of numerous nudist camps on the East Coast of America- done with my very own eyes- indicates that most members and visitors are over the age of 60 and the percentage of people who participate in nude recreation at nudist camps decreases as the age decreases.

The question, then, is what the statistics and information mean. First, since nudist camps are businesses and they want to keep their membership numbers up, the camps are most likely going to honor the desires of those who are older before they honor the desires of the younger crowds: there is power in numbers and, in a nudist location, there is money in the number of older folks. Second, because there are fewer older folks who use cell phones, there is a higher likelihood that they don’t realize how much the younger folks do on the cell phone. For many older folks, a cell phone is there to make phone calls and, since they all have cameras in them now, to take pictures. From my standpoint, there is a definite lack of knowledge of all the crazy things the younger generation does on the cell phone and there is also a lack of understanding that young people actually feel anxious or emotionally distressed when separated from their phone. There is actually a name for the huge fear of this: nomophobia.

As many clubs consider a ban on cell phones either totally or in certain locations, I’m convinced that young people like myself and those people who understand us need to work together to find a solution that is agreeable to everyone, including those who don’t want cell phones in nudist venues. (It should also be noted that all electronic devices are being considered in most of the bans, including the Kindle/Nook, iPad, and everything else that could have a camera.)

My idea of having a pouch for cellphones that they must stay in while in public areas (pool, hot tub, etc.) may or may not make sense. It seemed like a good idea to me, as I envisioned it to be like the old thick-plastic pencil cases from my childhood so that it couldn’t take pictures through the pouch but it would be open-able so that we can use the phone to check a text, caller id, or change the song on our MP3 player. So now we turn to you: what solutions can you all come up with for this issue? It would be great to find a solution that is agreeable to everyone and we need your input to develop a list of ideas to propose to clubs for our sake and for the sake of the future of nudism. Now I’ll be quiet… it’s your turn to speak.

May

Naked Kindness isn’t Obscure, but a $2 Bill Is!

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

You gotta eat, right? That’s what I’ve always thought and I run with the thought. Somehow, this desire to eat doesn’t go away when at a nudist venue. Many of my favorite venues have a restaurant or food area to fulfill this need and at my home campground they even let me run the hot dog wagon. But what about ordering in? Can you order in and have deliveries at a nudist resort or nude campground? Yes!

While at Penn Sylvan Health Society, my first home nudist club, it was common for me to order food from local restaurants and pizza places. In their hallway between the hot tub and indoor pool they even keep menus of local establishments that will deliver. So I did! Now, being a bare with a lot of curiosity in me, I always asked the delivery people how they felt about delivering to a nudist place. Without fail, every single delivery driver told me the same thing: the drivers all fought over who got to deliver there. The reason had nothing to do with nudity, either. Nope, it was the basic reason that any delivery driver would want a delivery: the people at Penn Sylvan were the best tippers and were always kind and patient.

That thought has been the theme of what service providers have said about delivering to my home campground, as well. I ask- because I have no filter for my mouth (ask my mother!)- and every single person says that they enjoy coming to my nudist camp because everyone there is so nice and patient. Unfortunately, my new club isn’t even in the middle of nowhere- it’s on the far edge of the left side of the middle of nowhere- so there are no food delivery people who will come here. To be clear: this has nothing to do with our dress (or lack thereof) and everything to do with the long distance from town. But there are other delivery people who come: gas, mail, etc. They all love it here.

The love that every service provider I’ve talked to has had for nudist locations makes me baffled by a recent report about mail carriers down in Virginia being upset about having to delivery mail at a local nudist venue. In the television interview, these mail carriers talked about nightmares from having to see a penis and such. Interestingly, I’ve been to the resort in question numerous times- it’s GORGEOUS!- and I know that the mailboxes are outside of the gate. I understand from the report that the resort changed their policies since the concern was raised about going inside the gates and now the mail deliverers don’t have to go inside. Their loss, but it goes to show that the nudist population is very empathic and goes out of their way to help others to feel comfortable in any way they can.

Since nudists are all over the place and visitors to nudist venues are such a good support to the community as they frequent local businesses for food, groceries, and other shopping ventures, AANR will be holding a $2 bill campaign. What is this? Basically, when nudists visit their local landed club (you know, the ones that have land and facilities) on Memorial Day Weekend, they can purchase $2 bills from the owners. The $2 bills are to be used at nearby locales to make the nudists and their support of local businesses a visible positive presence in the community. With so many people never having had a $2 bill in their hands before, passing this bill along to the clerks at our local shopping venue can also open up a conversation about where we got the bill and why we’re using them. I like this campaign: it encourages shopping and talking, which are two of my favorite things!

Nudists are wonderful people. If you’re reading this blog- and you obviously are!- you have probably noticed this already. It’s time to help people in our communities to see that we don’t just have bare bodies, we bear with one another with love. So, spend those $2 bills, tip your local delivery person well, and ask how you can make others more comfortable in your local nudist venue. It might be all that’s needed to show people what we mean when we say that nudists are the nicest people in the world.

Apr

Finding the Perfect Swimsuit: A Comparison Analysis

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

It’s getting warm out, which means that it’s the time of year in which we women need to invest our time and energy into finding the perfect swimsuit for the season. I’ve noticed that my sister and I go about this slightly differently:

My Sister:
1) Spend at least two months dieting so that there is a chance of fitting in to the suit that she wants.
2) Set aside two weekends to find the perfect suit.
3) Coordinate with a friend to go swimsuit shopping.
4) Put on good shoes that are easily removable- lots of walking will be involved but the shoes will need to be removed for trying on suits.
5) Head to the local mall.
6) Then the other local mall.
7) And don’t forget the department stores.
8 ) Find the perfect swimsuit top. Go to 10 more stores to ensure that it’s perfect. Then buy the top.
9) Go home and have a glass of wine to celebrate the acquisition of the top.
10) Go back to the local mall.
11) And the other local mall.
12) And the department stores.
13) Try on the swim trunks, skirts, and shorts.
14) Then try them on again.
15) Find the bottoms that work, even if they’re not perfect.
16) Diet again.
17) The next weekend, go back to the mall.
18) And the other mall.
19) And the department stores.
20) Try on every swimsuit cover-up available.
21) Purchase the cover-up.
22) Drink a bottle of wine to celebrate.
23) Put on the perfect swimsuit top and bottom then make sure nobody can see it by putting on a cover-up: SUCCESS!

Me:
1) Remove clothes.
2) Enjoy the perfect-size, perfectly comfortable swimsuit of my own skin. SUCCESS!

Apr

My First YNA Event: It’s All About the Love

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Nudism is hailed as a way of living in which people’s diversity is accepted and appreciated. We all hear the nudist mantra about body acceptance and within the nudist community this acceptance is definitely seen. Within my own home club, I’ve seen people of all sizes, people with amputations/ mastectomies, people with colostomy bags, people with scars, and the list goes on. All are accepted- which is as it should be.

Last night I realized that the diversity that we, as nudists, cherish often ends at body acceptance. How did I learn this? I happened to be helping out at the sign-in desk at a Young Nudists and Naturists America (YNA) Event (I met the heads of the group, Jordan and Felicity, online and in person last summer and have been following the group ever since) and looked over at a group of about 10 individuals who were dancing with each other in a big circle. That circle was truly a circle of diversity, representing male and female, differing heritages, different languages, numerous ethnicities, varying dancing levels, and a wide range of ages. Such diversity is unheard of in nudist circles, from what I’ve seen, and I was in awe at the beauty of the diversity that I saw.

To be honest, I’d been “warned” about the YNA group. You know how “those young people are” with “only one thing on their mind.” Being my father’s daughter and having his stubbornness deeply rooted within me, I had to find out for myself. And I must admit that those warnings about having one thing on their mind were quite true: they did! The thing on their minds, though, was this: it’s all about the love. The people in this group truly, truly love each other. They embody the loving acceptance that nudism is all about.

Along with the love, the group definitely was about having fun. They had an incredible and funny show featuring various professional entertainers, naked Twister, dancing, refreshments, body painting (gotta practice for the Amazing Canvas Event!!!), and the general chatter that nudists so love. As I watched those around me interact and participate actively in all that was going on, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the nudist photos of old that showed the high activity level of nudists as the competed, participated in sports, and were just generally “on the go.” When did nudists… stop? Nowadays, I hear about Nudist Stew, which involved nudists sitting the hot tub chatting or laying on pool floats chatting or reading. Good stuff, to be sure, but this event made me realize that something is missing: action!

Speaking of action, there is one part of the night that really stood out for me: dancing. Now, I don’t dance. Mom made me take tap dancing as a child and I was both no good at it and didn’t like it. I have zero music sense and just don’t know how to dance. Yet somehow, someway this group of people managed to get me on the dance floor. I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon to become a professional dancer, but I truly did enjoy it. And as I danced, I kept thinking that I wished I could have that moment videotaped and sent to my doctor. You know, the one who said a year ago that I’d likely never walk again (somehow dancing wasn’t mentioned.) Dancing with a bunch of other nudists at that event was my little act of defiance toward the expectations of me: you can have your expectations, but, really, I’ve got my own, thank you very much!

One other thing that was very obvious to me as I spoke to individuals who were attending was that there were many individuals there who were attending the event as their first nudist experience. I suppose we’ve all encountered newbies within nudism, but I’d never before seen the huge percentage of newbies that this group had! How do they get people to join in? Beats me- but you know I’m going to ask them!!! Those who weren’t newbies were often individuals who had been to YNA Events before and couldn’t stop themselves from attending again. Really, when having so much fun with amazing people in an accepting and loving environment, it’s hard to NOT want to go back!

As with any event, it’s fair to point out the negative parts of it, too. So here is my list, in no relevant order: 1) I didn’t like that my GPS hasn’t changed it’s hour with the hour change from daylight savings (not YNA’s fault- they definitely would have helped me with this if I had asked) 2) NYC is way too far from my house (I guess that’s my fault- I chose where I’d live.) 3) The Lincoln Tunnel is the scariest location on Earth AND it’s too expensive (I don’t think YNA can control that.) 4) I didn’t like the feeling of being jealous of Felicity’s relationship with her mother, who was also present at the event; they not only enjoy nude events together, but “mom” is clearly VERY proud of Felicity and for very good reason (I suppose this is the mom’s fault- but can I really blame her???)

Overall, I have to say that I’m VERY glad that I didn’t listen to the detractors and that I decided to head down to Manhattan for this event. It truly was the BEST nude event I’ve ever been to and I can’t wait for the next get-together. Even if the group does have a one track mind: it really IS all about the LOVE!

Apr

We are Family, We are One

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

For tens years I taught students in Philadelphia and for half of those teaching years worked in small, private schools. Within one school we often sang a song that ended with the phrase, “We are family, we are one.” While this phrase was meant to describe a faith community, I find that it’s also quite an apt description of our nudist community.

If we consider what a family is, we realize that a family is there for each other regardless of what’s going on in life. A family supports one another, encourages one another, and picks up each other’s slack. I’ve noticed that our nudist community is exactly like a family in these ways. My nudist friends truly are a family: we are there for each other in ways that are rarely seen in this world and we help out when we see something wrong. Each nudist camp that I know of depends largely on its members to make things work. Right now at my camp, there are volunteers here helping to set up in preparation for opening day early next month. Of course, as any family has, there are differences of opinion within nudism that need to be worked out; kind of a nudist sibling rivalry, if you will.

Though we disagree about some things, we are united in that we all want to further nudism. We may have different ideas on how to do so- which is probably why this AANR election season is so heated- but we all desire for nudism to increase and nudity to spread such that it is an acceptable norm.

So, for better or for worse, if you are a nudist, you are my family and we are one. Now let’s all behave ourselves so that we aren’t considered the black sheep of the family! 

Apr

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Hoodie: No Problem!

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

There are many things in this world that our parents teach us not to talk about if we don’t want to get in trouble with others: religion, politics, and controversial race issues are among those things. So I guess I need to apologize to my parents in that I’m going to talk about a controversial topic today on this blog. I mean no offense to anyone in writing today’s blog- it’s just something that’s on my heart today and I figure that if it’s on my heart, it’s on other people’s, too. Sounds reasonable, huh?

Unless you’ve been living in a cave that is too far out to receive the newspaper, internet, smart phone reception, or a television, you’ve heard about the situation regarding Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman in Florida in which 17-year old Trayvon was shot by Neighborhood Watchman George Zimmerman. I won’t get in to all the details of the case- I’m neither Yahoo News nor Wikipedia.

Since Trayvon’s death, hoodies have been worn all over to make a statement about the unfairness of Trayvon’s death. I’ve seen a friend wearing a hoodie as she addresses her church congregation, senators wearing a hoodie during a legislative session, demonstrations of individuals who are all wearing hoodies, and a congressman kicked off the house floor while wearing a hoodie. Clearly, hoodies are a symbol of the prejudice that is felt in this case. It is said that the hoodie was used to indicate that Trayvon was a young Black man. I’m not completely in agreement with that assumption since I’m a 36 year old White woman wearing a hoodie right now, my 64-year-old mother wears a hoodie now and again, and all of the Nude U students who lead the AANR-East Youth Camp- who happen to be White right now- don hoodies on cold New York nights at camp.

Regardless, the hoodie has been identified as an article of clothing that causes people to have prejudice. As a nudist, I do agree that clothes are an obvious way to create opinions about people- opinions that aren’t always accurate. If a hoodie is a sign that the person wearing it is a young Black man (again, I don’t really agree with that statement), then we need to consider what other articles of clothing indicate: an expensive shirt and tie are indicators of a rich and important person, leather clothing means the person wearing them is a bad biker-dude, ripped jeans indicate poverty or youth, tighter clothing indicates that a person is promiscuous, and the list goes on.

What you see a person wearing truly does impact your thoughts on that person and we all know that these perceptions aren’t always accurate. This is one reason why nudism is seen as the great equalizer: if you’re nude, there are no clothes to indicate your “status.” Within nudism, we have to look much further to figure out what kind of person we’re talking to. This really is a good thing because the way to look further is to talk with the person. Through talking, we learn about the person’s heart- and isn’t that what people should really be judged on? I think so. Forget their fashion sense (or lack thereof, as in my case); what are they passionate about? What is their view on life? What are their hobbies? Yes, this is what a person is. We are not our clothes and some of us are thankful for that.

Little Orphan Annie sings about how “you’re never fully dressed without a smile.” I tend to go further: you’re only fully dressed when wearing nothing but a smile. And you’re also less likely to be judged on irrelavent things like what your clothes might “mean.” Perhaps this is not what I should be getting out of the Trayvon Martin case, but what I realize even more than before is that if we were all nude all the time, we’d have less prejudice and violence in the world (think about it: you can’t hide a gun on you if you have no clothes to hide it in!) I’m all for trying this theory out- especially in Florida, where Trayvon lived, since that is a nice warm state to be nude in!

Mar

I am Woman: Hear my Clothes Come Off!

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

As I sit here nude and look down, I notice that I’m a woman. Wait, let me check again. Yep, I’m a woman. Being that I’m in Nude Recreation, I can be labeled a Woman in Nude Recreation. Deep, huh?

What does it mean to be a Woman in Nude Recreation? I hear about this group of individuals but don’t really understand what it means. I suppose the group was created to encourage more women to participate in Nude Recreation. OK, good idea!

More women in Nude Recreation would be awesome. It’s good to see other women at our parks and our womanly ways add to any group. But, more importantly, women need to experience nudism. I read an article recently about how many women won’t go to the gym due to feeling uncomfortable changing in the locker room. Within my job, I hear constantly of kids failing gym because they refuse to change in the locker room. As an aunt, I hear my young nieces talking about their bodies- never positively, of course. We’ve all heard of crazy spending on liposuction, plastic surgery, and the like- sometimes on men, but most often on women. Clearly, there are some major body acceptance issues going on that need to be addressed in Womandom.

How are we going to get women to see that Nude Recreation is an option? Not only is it an option, it’s a fantastic option because of the acceptance, love, support, friendship, and encouragement that are found within the nudist community. I personally spent an awful lot of money between childhood and approaching age 30 paying therapists to fix me. It didn’t work. Do you want to know what worked? You probably already guessed: nudism. That’s not to say that therapy isn’t helpful or necessary for some, but my reality was that the nudist environment, in which I was wanted, appreciated, and loved for who I am, was all I needed to overcome years and years of depression. It was miraculous, really, and I wish that I had become a nudist loooong ago.

I became a nudist out of shear desperation: it was my last attempt to make my life livable before calling it quits. Little did I know that life being livable was just the beginning on the road to a glorious life! How do we get other women, who maybe aren’t at that level but definitely could grow more joyful as a result of nudism, to try it out? I don’t have the answer, sadly, but I’m going to try to figure it out. Any ideas???

Mar

Welcome SPRINGTIME!

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Those of you who are in the Northeast have noticed that we’re having a little premature spring here. Though prematurity isn’t good for babies, it certainly is for nudists! I loved working outside today- naturally, of course- in the 80 degree weather. And spring doesn’t even begin until tomorrow!

Spring is my season of hope. It is the season that sees my nudist camp open- which is always good. With the opening, my friends return to my backyard, BBQs become plentiful, outdoor work can begin, skinny-dipping becomes a daily experience, and long walks in beautiful surroundings bathed in the sun alone become my norm. Yes, spring is good.

As someone who has always lived in the Northeast, either in NY or PA, I’ve always wondered what it’s like to live somewhere that is always warm. Do people in California, for instance, appreciate the spring the way I do? Without the snow, do you really appreciate the heat? Or is it even better to be somewhere in which you don’t have to long for the warm months for half the year? I don’t know which is better but I’m sure it boils down to personal preference. For me, I’m just glad that spring weather is upon us and our actual first day of spring is a mere hours away!

Mar

AANR Parks are going to the Dogs

By Melissastarr Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Finally, finally, I have a big date coming up. It’s on Thursday and I can hardly wait for it. Thursday’s weather is expected to be in the 70’s here and I’m purposely keeping some hours free on my schedule on that day for my big date. Ahhhh… so excited, even if it’s just a date to the DOGGIE PARK!

Yes, that’s right: the doggie park. Like many people, my dog is my best buddy and I’m so excited that the weather will be warm enough this week to truly enjoy a warm day at the dog park with her. My dog park is less than 10 minutes away, but I wish we had a dog area at the nudist park where I live so that my dog could run around happily with other pups in a safe enclosed area without me having to get dressed. Maybe I’ll bring that up to the owners.

At my nudist park, like at so many others, we have lots of dogs. My dog, Little Bare, lives here year-round and our neighbor Suzanne has her little boy dog next door. When going down to camp, Little Bare enjoys playing with her best buddy, Punkin, or her other best buddy, Brady. In our walks through the park we also meet up with Nobbie and other doggie friends. This might be a nudist park instead of a dog park, but our dogs are pretty prominent members.

I can’t remember which park it is, but I recently received some kind of correspondence from a nudist park that advertised it’s dog park within the park. In thinking about it, this is a fabulous idea: there are so many dogs and dog owners at our parks that it just makes sense to let a section “go to the dogs.” I know that White Tail Resort has a special area to commemorate pets from the park that have passed. This is a neat idea, too, especially for those of us who count our pups as our favorite family member.

In looking up the statistics, I see that 46.3 million households in the USA have a dog. This is the most common pet, followed by cats at 38.9 million. An estimated 51 billion dollars was spent on pets in 2011 and that amount seems to be increasing each year. I take personal responsibility for that as I look around my home at the numerous toy bins for puppy, look in her closet at her many sweaters and coats (how does a dog in a nudist household LOVE to be dressed???), and note the many color-coordinated collars and tags. (The statistics note $43 annually for toys. ANNUALLY? Isn’t that more like a month…. Or even a really good week???) I guess we could summarize the statistics by saying that the pet industry is one of the few really growing industries right now. I love that our AANR parks are right on this trend by having dog parks, pet memorials, and realizing that pets are an important part of the park.

Barely Melissa: Site of a Bare with Very Little Brain